Twenty-seven years of marriage, and not once did R. Madhavan stray. In a candid conversation with ETimes, the actor opened up about the values that have kept him grounded through a career spent working alongside, as he put it, “extremely attractive” co-stars.

R Madhavan on not cheating on his wife, "While I am extremely attracted to attractive girls, at the end of the day…"

R Madhavan on not cheating on his wife, “While I am extremely attracted to attractive girls, at the end of the day…”

Loyalty as a family value

Madhavan traced his fidelity back to his roots, describing it as something inherited rather than chosen. He said, “I think to be loyal is a family trait. My entire family till the end of their lives remained so loyal to Jamshedji Tata that we actually had a photo of his, along with all the Gods with the mala. So honestly, I will have to go out of my way to not be loyal.”

He went on to poke fun at himself, calling himself a “darpok Madrasi middle-class man”. He said that, however drawn he may be to attractive women, what ultimately wins out is the warmth of coming home to his wife Sarita.

He added, “While I am extremely attracted to attractive girls, at the end of the day, I balance off going back home and cuddling my wife as opposed to giving an excuse on why I am not there.”

Madhavan also noted that Sarita manages his finances and has always had full access to his phone and accounts, which, in his telling, leaves little room for secrets.

Mani Ratnam’s advice that stayed with him

Madhavan made his film debut with Mani Ratnam’s 2000 Tamil romantic drama Alai Payuthey, before going on to feature in the director’s subsequent films Kannathil Muthamittal, Aayutha Ezhuthu, and Guru. Beyond the professional relationship, it was a personal piece of counsel from Ratnam that left a lasting impression.

He recalled, “Mani Ratnam gave me an advice on how not to have to test relationships. He said, ‘When there is something going good with a relationship, don’t keep testing it to see how much she loves you. Just let it be. Sometimes testing is the thing that spoils everything’.”

Madhavan said the advice helped him understand the value of leaving a strong relationship undisturbed, particularly after he became a prominent name in Tamil cinema.

Defying advice to hide his marriage

Fame, when it arrived, brought unsolicited counsel. Madhavan recalled that certain well-wishers urged him not to publicise his marriage. He chose to do precisely the opposite.

He shared, “I would open all my girl fan mail along with Sarita. I would insist on taking her for any exotic outdoor shoots, not because I wanted her to know that I am loyal, but I didn’t want to test myself.”

Madhavan and Sarita wed on June 6, 1999. The couple has a son, Vedaant Madhavan. As their 27-year marriage continues to hold, the actor’s matter-of-fact approach to loyalty remains as disarming as ever.

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